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How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged Or Married?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forums' started by cpvr, Dec 19, 2012.

  1. cpvr

    cpvr Silver Poster Awesome Poster

    I've seen a lot of people get married or engaged in the past few years. I got married too but I ended up getting an divorce and now I'll make sure that I'm fully ready to get married next time.

    But, where do you stand on this?
     
  2. fattony69

    fattony69 Gold Poster Awesome Poster

    This is a good question. To me, I feel when it is right. Although, I don't have a girlfriend and not trying to have one any time soon.
     
  3. Leaky

    Leaky Gold Poster Awesome Poster

    Bout three fiddy
     
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  4. Akronnnnnnnn

    Akronnnnnnnn i r global mod Awesome Poster

    proposing on Christmas after about 16 months but was previously with a girl for 5 years and didn't want to get married. I dunno, I guess you just have to have a good feeling about it.
     
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  5. fattony69

    fattony69 Gold Poster Awesome Poster

    That is so crazy. Not a bad thing, but you are getting married. It feels right, it feels right.
     
  6. Ragefuii

    Ragefuii Gold Poster Awesome Poster

    I have seen it range from right away to 25 years of dating like my Aunt and Uncle. I have been with my current girl friend for about a year and a half and we have talked about marriage but we agreed to hold off until I have a better job and she starts teaching. The day after I met my girl friend she moved in with me and we have been living together literally since we met each other, so it's like were married anyways. I agree with Tony on this, when it feels right, it feels right.
     
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  7. BabblingBrad

    BabblingBrad Silver Poster Awesome Poster

    Yeah, agree with the two above. You can't put a timestamp on it, but I'd certainly say anything less than a year is crazy purely because you don't know the person well enough.
     
  8. Ragefuii

    Ragefuii Gold Poster Awesome Poster

    I completly agree man, there is no way you could possibly know someone well enough to spend the rest of your life with them. Granted there are a few exceptions as there is with almost everything but for the vast majority of us, it just doesn't work that way.

    Accidently double posted, my bad.
     
  9. sage

    sage Silver Poster Awesome Poster

    Love has no rules, or standards.

    Maybe this is a bit tl;dr but I will post it anyway.
    Early 20's, at a bomb fire.. My parents got engaged the first night they met.
    They started talking by chance, and ended up spending the entire night together, until the fire went out and the sun came up.
    At the end of the night, my mother asked my father what he wanted when he grew up.. He replied "I want my own farm with a lake to fish on" He asked my mother the same question. She said she wanted to marry a farmer.
    My father then asked her "Why don't you marry me then?". She said yes.

    And to this day, in their 50's, I have not met two people who are more in love than my parents.
     
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  10. LizzyD

    LizzyD Silver Poster Awesome Poster

    There is no manual you can follow in a relationship. There is also no concrete time frame as to when you should get married. For me if you are emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially ready to get married and you found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then that would be the best time to get married.
     
  11. gracer

    gracer Quarter Century Club Awesome Poster

    There never really is a time frame for waiting to get married. You just feel it in yourselves that you're both ready. If one of you has been ready and waiting for the other's readiness for a long time now (and I mean years of waiting), then maybe it's time for both of you to reassess your relationship.
     
  12. MakingCents

    MakingCents Quarter Century Club Awesome Poster

    There's no right time frame. Although I read a study today that your realationship isn't fully developed for 3-4 years, and that couples who date longer than 3 years tend to stay married more than couples who date for a year or 2 before getting married.
     
  13. LeopardPrintDyson

    LeopardPrintDyson Quarter Century Club Awesome Poster

    Weirdly, I feel like I know everything important that I need to know about another person within two months. (Which is probably why I don't usually stick around for much longer than that, hahaha.) That said, I’d still probably wait quite a bit longer before considering engagement or marriage. Circumstances can change, things can come up, so personally I’d date someone for at least a year. Probably no more than five, though.
     
  14. Kurb

    Kurb Quarter Century Club Awesome Poster

    My personal timeframe is 3 years. That's about how long it takes before finding out if someone drives me nuts.
     
  15. bonesmistress

    bonesmistress Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    I am 28, my husband is 46, we married April 15,2011. This was about three weeks after we met. Now after the first 3 months I left(too much to go in to right now) and then begged him to take me back and that I would spend the rest of my life making it up to him. Here we are still together and have two children of our own. We have realized that years before we even got together, we had been in the same place at the same time. It's a really long story, but I think it all depends on how you truly feel. And for those of you who don't think that there is love at first site, the first time I saw my husband I was getting this warm tingling feeling all over my body, head to toe with this warm feeling of happiness inside and couldn't help but smile yet not knowing why. That it the best way I can explain it. So ya, it just all depends.
     
  16. GemmaRowlands

    GemmaRowlands Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    I don't think you can really put an exact time on it, because it is different for each couple. If you meet "the one" then it can be a relatively short amount of time before you get married, but in many cases, people just don't know this quickly. I think that if you aren't thinking about getting married after a few years of being together, you're never going to do it.
     
  17. toradrake

    toradrake Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    For everyone it is different. A friends mother in law and her husband got married after 3 days of knowing each other and have been married for 61 years and have 14 kids..... I have known people who have been together for 4 or more years, get married, and a year or two later they were filing for divorce. It all depends on why you are marrying and if you really know the person you are marrying.
     
  18. VinayaSpeaks

    VinayaSpeaks Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    I dated just for one and half months and I was engaged officially. I married my fiance just after 21 days of getting engaged. I married to that girl I had met just for three months, and now I am married for two years.
     
  19. morgoodie

    morgoodie Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    I think it depends on the people really. Who is to say that a certain amount of time is too short before they get married? If the two people are willing to put in the effort, then if it is a week, a month, a year, or more it does not matter. I think it is best if people really put thought into it though before taking the plunge. Just because it is easy to get a divorce nowadays does not mean that the sanctity of marriage is any less serious.
     
  20. remnant

    remnant Knows How To Post Awesome Poster

    For marriage to succeed, there has to be a give and take relationship. Most people present their best selves during courtship only to unravel their claws later on. I think you are doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It also pays to realize that you will never get a perfect partner. In the same vein, you are not perfect.